Mariah Carey Explains the Real Reason She Cares About Christmas So Much

Mariah Carey is opening up about her festive spirit.

The “All I Want for Christmas Is You” singer opened up in an interview with Elle. Here’s what she had to say…

PHOTOS: Check out the latest pics of Mariah Carey

On her history with the holiday and creating the Christmases that she always wanted to have: “I think it’s just that longing that I had as a child, that I always wanted things to be perfect for the holidays. And they never were. It was always somebody ruining the moment, always these dysfunctional family members who came around and foiled everything. And so I just made a pact with myself that I wasn’t going to allow that to happen anymore. After I kind of emerged from my first relationship–slash–marriage, I created the Christmases that I wanted to have.”

On not seeing herself as a celebrity: “When you frame it as ‘celebrity,’ I don’t really know how to answer that question…because I don’t really see myself as a celebrity. I’m a recording artist. I make music, occasionally. Not to be like, ‘How dare you call me a celebrity?’ I love the glamorous stuff and the dress-up of it all. But the truth is, that’s work to me.”

Mariah on the importance of maintaining control of her music and why it was her “saving grace”: “When I write down words—I have to protect that, because this is something that people try to take from you.”

On being a biracial kid, and feeling like she didn’t belong anywhere: “It’s very difficult to explain to most people who haven’t experienced that on some level. Being very ambiguous-looking, that really affected the way people saw me or judged me, depending on what kind of caste system you grew up with…there would always be that question of, ‘What are you?’ Not ‘Who are you? How can I get to know you as a person?’ But ‘What are you? Oh, you’re so exotic. What are you mixed with?’ It depends who’s asking the question and how they ask the question.”

You’ve got to see all the stars appearing in her upcoming Christmas special – watch the trailer!

For more from Mariah Carey, head to Elle.com.