Dax Shepard Reflects on Breaking His 16-Year Sobriety in 2020, Feels 'Guilty' Saying He 'Loved This Year Immensely'

Dax Shepard used his podcast, Armchair Expert podcast, to speak out about his 2020 relapse after 16 years of sobriety.

“I can’t imagine having to admit that to other people and feeling as safe as I did that you guys wouldn’t hate me,” Dax said to his wife Kristen Bell and his co-host Monica Padman. “I hated me at that point and so, to be able to tell you guys and feel unconditionally loved and that I would be accepted was really special.”

He added, “It saved my life.”

“Nobody saved you but you,” Kristen said, “and your courage and boldness to say, ‘I feel like I’m slipping’ or ‘I did slip and I need to be honest before it gets worse’ and I’m just grateful to all parties involved. I think we did a really good job, team.”

“I feel really grateful and honored that you felt you could trust me,” she added. “I feel grateful that I was allowed in to the inner circle.”

Dax then said something sorta shocking. “I feel guilty saying this, but I still loved this year immensely,” he said. “I loved this year. I had a great year.”

“I think we’re very lucky to say that,” she said, adding, “because we’re not out of work and we’re not looking at eviction and we’re not struggling to put food on the table.”

“I’m saying though even with two surgeries and a relapse and shame spiral and all this stuff, still a great year for me,” Dax said.

Kristen opened up about her husband’s sobriety several years ago. Here’s what she said at the time.